Improving Implantation: Embryo Transfer

There are few outcomes more frustrating than calling a patient who has failed to conceive in spite of the transfer of top quality embryos. I usually break down the factors into: 1) transfer technique, 2) endometrial receptivity and 3) embryo issues.

Embryo Transfer:
The goal of all transfers is to perform the transfer in an atraumatic fashion and to get out of the room without the patient peeing on you. In 16 years I have yet to have a patient urinate on me during an embryo transfer, but this is not to say that some of them did not fantasize about getting some payback.

We perform all embryo transfers under ultrasound guidance. For 16 years I have performed all embryo transfers to the accompaniment of Sam Cooke's classic ballad "You Send Me."

The reason for this choice is a story for another time but I am reminded of the line that John Candy uttered in the 1984 movie hit "Splash": "Hey, when something works, I stick with it..."

However, I have had some patients who have rarely requested a different soundtrack to their procedure and so I guess that I need to come up with a backup plan. Recently, I was presented with a request to go with the antithesis of Sam Cooke. I sat there and pondered for a moment while I scrolled through my iPhone 4. Another Sam Cooke ballad would be too similar.

I needed something appropriate to reproductive medicine...and with a driving beat and preferably a song from the 70s or 80s....So I chose.... "Love Shack" by the B-52s. Although we argued about the actual lyrics in this MTV favorite, it ultimately seemed like a good choice since the patient did conceive. For the record, I thought that the lyric in question was not "Tin roof....rusted," since I was sure that I had seen an interview with the band stating that the original lyric was total gibberish and made up on the spot without any consideration given to making it fit the song. Perhaps, I am totally confused on this point.

So ultimately the key is to play music that has the embryos best interest at heart. These two songs work for me. If you are not having any luck, then consider asking your RE to play one of these songs at ET...just don't tell him/her it was my idea....

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Seeking but not finding...

Gordon men are known to lose all sense of perspective when it comes to our dogs. I am not sure why this is true. My Dad is so attached to his miniature Schnauzer that he actually called the kennel to check on the dog while he was being boarded a few weeks ago. Chester was unable to take the call as he was too busy playing with the other dogs at the time. Since we are all products of our environment then it should come as little surprise that I became a man on a mission when looking for a comfy dog bed for my two 4 legged friends. I had found a great bed at a Walmart several months ago but only bought one bed at the time. Since that purchase I looked and looked for a similar bed at all the local Walmarts and Lowes and Petsmart and Petco.....No luck. Amazingly enough I found one at a local small pet boutique in Arlington. I was totally psyched! Finally, my search was at an end. I bought that item and then went online to buy another one on Amazon. These beds are washable and that made all the difference to me since I have been known to leave the beds outside in bad weather. I was happy that my search was at an end. I brought home my trophy and placed Indy, my miniature goldendoodle, on the bed. Indy was also very excited. Really excited. So unbelievably excited that she promptly peed on the bed! Great. So now after 5 min it was time to wash the bed. I went on Amazon and to my dismay review after review said something like this: "Great bed. Dog loved it. I washed it once and then the thing totally fell apart"....or "Washed this bed and all the stuffing clumped together and I threw it out." Needless to say, I was not a happy consumer. But as an Eagle Scout I followed the Boy Scout motto and I was prepared. I washed the bed and then dried it with a couple of tennis balls (a trick I learned when drying sleeping bags after rainy campouts). Miracle of miracles the bed came out good as new...which it was since I had used it for only 5 min!

So does this have anything to do with fertility treatment? I guess I would consider the distressing information that I found on the internet prior to washing the dog bed insightful. Clearly these people were posting their experiences with the dog bed in an attempt to be helpful. However, it totally freaked me out that the washable bed was not really washable in a meaningful way. Same is true for patients who post information about clinics and treatments online. I have no doubt that these individuals are accurately describing their own experiences. But one size does not fill all in this case. Make sure that you don't become overwhelmed by the internet "experts." Your RE should be your best source of information. By all means, ask questions. Just remember that not all questions can be answered when it comes to infertility. We know a lot but some of it remains a mystery to all of us.

So here's the post script to my little dog bed search. Last week I was in Giant getting groceries and some dog bones. I look up and there on the top shelf in the pet care aisle are 4 of my sought after dog beds....at a better price than on Amazon. I almost sat down and cried. 

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